After Shocks

Posted on | October 25, 2012 | 16 Comments

So . . . I haven’t been around lately, at all. Not on Facebook, not really on Twitter and definitely not here. And I’ve missed it all. But something more pressing has been keeping me occupied, and once it was under control, well I’d kind of lost my mojo. Again.

You all know that all three of my children had viral meningitis this summer. Oh the joy. Violet had it the worst because we didn’t know what was going on — we initially thought it was just a stomach virus. Since she went the longest without treatment it took 2 1/2 days to get it all under control. Which left her with some side effects we had no idea were coming.

About 6 weeks after the meningitis things started getting weird with her and then they got violent. She had such raging tantrums that I was forced to empty her room because her toys provided ammunition to launch at me. She screamed. She jumped on her bed. She yelled strange insults at me. When she’d done this twice in a row I sought the help of a dear friend, Lisa, who knows so much about brain function, environmental issues, allergies etc. Her son has mild autism and she is a wealth of knowledge. As I cried to her about Violet’s behavior, she started questioning me about other things, and we made a list of symptoms and dates they started. What resulted was a timeline that started after her meningitis.

Things I saw included violent temper tantrums, sleeplessness, clinginess, quick mood changes, recurrent headaches  and a fear of doctors.  I made an appointment with her pediatrician, talked with her teacher, my therapist (who is also a child therapist)  and social worker at her school. Then I started to research all this myself.

Meningitis.com and The Mayo Clinic as well as several other sites listed after effects of meningitis: temper tantrums, sleeplessness, clinginess, quick mood changes, recurrent headaches  and a fear of doctors.

What? Not a single doctor told me took for after effects. And I didn’t research the meningitis while she was sick because  I knew I’d get all sorts of scary, ridiculous results.

I called two friends of mine who’s family members had experienced meningitis. I simply asked, “What happened after the meningitis?” One said, “You mean like behavior changes or tantrums?” What? She knew? And the other told me her brother had headaches for 6  months after.

We had blood tests done to rule out any other problems such as a hyper active thyroid. We had an MRI done. Saw an ENT. Everything was normal.

We went to the therapist and started to work on the actual behaviors — because even if they were a result of the meningitis we couldn’t live our lives walking around just waiting for the next explosion and all nervous about it.

So. Time has passed. She’s been to see the therapist twice now. Talked with social worker who gave her some books on anger to read. We have ‘anger rules’ up in the kitchen and her room. She’s earning toys back. She takes melatonin to get to sleep each night. She questions whether or not she’s going to have ‘a needle’ every time we go to the doctor – and remember, we went to the pediatrician, had blood drawn, were sedated for the MRI then went to the ENT. So she’s very worried. She is very clingy and tends to do it more around a lot of people. She’s tantrumed in front of two of her friends — who thankfully had experienced similar behavior in their own home so they just shrugged it off.

At first this consumed me. I searched the internet for hours. I talked to my friends. I asked for many, many prayers. I talked extensively about it to my therapist. My anxiety level has shot through the roof.

But I’m starting to see the other side now. She’s doing much, much better. She hasn’t had a full  on tantrum in about 3 weeks. She’s beginning to learn that she needs to take a break from us when she starts to feel angry.

So this are starting to get better. Our home life is pretty normal now, no eggshell walking and no searching the internet for hours.

I think we’re going to be okay. :)

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Comments

16 Responses to “After Shocks”

  1. Karen
    October 25th, 2012 @ 2:19 PM

    Wow I had no idea u were going through this. I’m sorry u had to, but glad thgs are improving.

    Kim Reply:
    November 4th, 2012 at 3:45 PM

    I don’t know about the improving now, Karen. I almost called you the other day, but I didn’t want to bother you when I know you guys are so busy and worried about your dad. Know that you all are in my prayers every day!

  2. molly
    Twitter:

    October 25th, 2012 @ 2:44 PM

    I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope with all hopes that it keeps getting better. Because how worried and frustrated you must be, mama.
    molly recently posted..31 Days of the Shred: Day 24

    Kim Reply:
    November 4th, 2012 at 3:44 PM

    worried and frustrated are right. Scared, too. Thanks for your support, Molly.

  3. Kate
    Twitter:

    October 25th, 2012 @ 3:23 PM

    So so sorry!

    I just texted you. :)

    I’m glad everyone is doing better, especially Violet. I have been so caught up in everything that has been going on with us & I feel so bad for friends who haven’t had it easy either(like I’m the only person who has had a rough summer).

    I hope things keep on improving!
    Kate recently posted..It’s Been A While

  4. Amber Lena
    Twitter:

    October 25th, 2012 @ 11:42 PM

    Oh my goodness. This sounds terrifying. I am so thankful that you have a good support network around you (and health insurance. That’s my day job, so I always think about that when I hear stories like yours). We had a much milder scenario in our house, where my sweet, gentle, non-drama little girl became virtually a different person overnight, and I had a very hard time getting through each interaction with her, which broke my heart. She’s better now, but I can totally empathize with you. Here’s to good health and happy children. Xoxo

    Kim Reply:
    November 4th, 2012 at 3:44 PM

    Can I ask what started the change and how you guys dealt with it? We’re working on things here, but even with therapy I still feel so lost.

  5. Andrea
    Twitter:

    October 26th, 2012 @ 8:46 PM

    So sorry that you all were going through this, I can’t imagine how scary & frustrating this was. I am glad that she is doing much better now.
    Andrea recently posted..photo dump: fall festival

    Kim Reply:
    November 4th, 2012 at 3:43 PM

    thanks, Andrea. We’re hopeful!

  6. Jess
    Twitter:

    October 30th, 2012 @ 10:39 AM

    What a world! I’m so sorry that you had to go through this with her. That’s quite a lot for you all to handle. I hope that she gets back to her happy self very soon and that you are staying well through it all. xoxoox
    Jess recently posted..Putting on my face.

    Kim Reply:
    November 4th, 2012 at 3:42 PM

    Jess, thank you. So far I’m holding my own through this. No slips on the mental home front :) But it’s exhausting, that’s for sure. I don’t know how parents of disturbed children do this for years and years.

  7. John
    Twitter:

    October 30th, 2012 @ 11:37 AM

    So, so glad to hear that things are back on the mend in your world. You’re missed in these parts, terribly – but it’s just good to know you’re doing ok.
    John recently posted..Where I think about life as a professional musician

    Kim Reply:
    November 4th, 2012 at 3:41 PM

    Thanks, John. Things are, well, not great right now — again. We’re trying to work through it, but it’s just so horrible to watch your child change so drastically and not be able to control it. We had another whopper of a tantrum on Friday night that just broke me.

  8. Kimberly
    Twitter:

    November 4th, 2012 @ 2:50 PM

    Oh gosh…that is so scary and I’m so sorry that you and your babes are going through this. Know that I love you and I’m here for you.
    xo
    Kimberly recently posted..Past, Present, And Future

    Kim Reply:
    November 4th, 2012 at 3:40 PM

    Thanks so much, Kim. It’s traumatic, you know? To watch your child go through this and how it impacts the family . . .so terrible.

  9. Branson
    Twitter:

    November 5th, 2012 @ 9:12 PM

    Wow. Sooo glad you are finding answers!! Well be praying for you guys :) Hugs!
    Branson recently posted..Today

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    I'm a survivor. A warrior. A woman, wife, mom, friend, sister. The best 'me' I've ever been. I lost 2+ years to severe depression & anxiety & now I'm healing. For the first time in years I'm awake. I blog to let others know that you are not alone. I thought I was. I'm here to tell you I was wrong. Join me in this crazy journey of new life, laughter & love with my three amazing kids, my awesome husband & my crazy brain.

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